What my kid’s doctor needs to know about binding

What my kid’s doctor needs to know about binding

What my kid's doctor needs to know about binding

What my kid’s doctor needs to know about binding:

If you’re here, chances are good that you are a parent doing the best you can to support your kid as you grapple with whether binding is right for your kid. You are doing a great job- this is hard stuff and I’m here to help as much as I can. 

Parents rely on family doctors and pediatricians for sound advice when it comes to their kid’s health but most doctors are woefully unprepared to counsel parents or young people about the practice of binding.  

You have to be a more active medical advocate for your kid because gender-affirming care is an issue medical professionals often lack training in. Many families have already been down this road so I asked parents what they wished their kid’s doctors had known about binding. Based on their feedback and my clinical experience, the following are guidance and resources to help you help your doctor help your kid.

  • What a Binder Is  

One frustrated parent lamented “[I wish the doctor knew] anything at all. The sheer existence of binders! That [binding] isn’t about fashion or being a rebel.”  Another parent who encountered a totally unreceptive doctor said, “For starters, [they need to know] that there are ARE safe ways to bind.”

Unfortunately, most medical providers have never seen an actual binder and many therefore make incorrect assumptions that leads to unhelpful advice, at best, and dangerous misinformation, at worst. Binding is a safe practice now with a breadth of different options and most doctors still have an image of an ACE bandage wrapped around the chest or a garment that is similar to a corset. 

Doing your homework about what kinds of binders exist is easier with the BinderFinder tool where you can review 52 different features of binders to explore what might meet your kid’s unique needs.

Self-Advocacy Tip #1- Provide the visual

If your kid already has a binder, take it with you to your appointment. If not, collect images of the binders that you are considering and take them to the appointment. 

This site provides information cards designed to quickly educate your provider on the most important facts to know about binding. and include illustrations of healthy and unhealthy binding methods. 

  • Physical Health Impacts

A parent articulated what I think most parents are looking for when they turn to their child’s doctor: “I want the doctor to know all the guidelines to help bind safely, as well as the potential risks, this way [we could] make an informed decision.” 

A doctor who has done their homework to understand this growing practice among young people is the gold standard. But if you don’t have access to a gender-affirming doctor, you are not likely to find that expertise. This family was lucky to have such a resource and helps us envision a better future: “We had a great PA attached to the gender clinic, who answered my questions and gave me a very informative packet to take home. I would want every doctor to be that prepared. I didn’t even bother asking our GP.”

This better future is my passion and, based on a decade of clinical experience treating the pain and discomfort from binding, I wrote a book that dives deep into the impact that the various forms of binding have. Chapters like ‘Binding and the Body’, ‘Health Risks of Binding’ and ‘An Active Life’ can your provider the depth of understanding to provide you and your kid good counsel.


Self-Advocacy Tip #2: Point Doctors to Resources

Reach out ahead of your appointment and tell the doctor that chest binding is one of the concerns that you would like to discuss and ask them to get a copy of Healthy Chest Binding for Trans and Nonbinary People: A Practical Guide so that they are prepared to have an informed discussion with you and your kid.

Doctors like research so the Resources for Providers page on this site has a complete list of existing peer-reviewed studies on binding. Sharing this link before your appointment may help your medical providers to feel more confident discussing the risks and benefits.

  • Mental Health Impacts

To tragic ends, doctors don’t always understand or give credence to the impact that dysphoria has on gender-expansive youth. Doctors need to be exposed to the research and the narratives that help them to better serve both your kid’s mental and physical health. The following is an excerpt from Healthy Chest Binding for Trans and Nonbinary People: A Practical Guide:

“Binding the chest is a life-saving and quality-of-life enhancing strategy that can safely allow assigned-female-at-birth TGNC people to fully express their identity…. Dysphoria can be triggered by physical, social, emotional, and cultural factors and… can manifest as anxiety, depression, rage, or fear and ranges from mild to severe. For many young people, dysphoric distress arrives in tandem with chest development in puberty.  The presence of unwanted chest tissue is extremely isolating and often results in severe depression and crippling social anxiety. Tragically, TGNC people who die from suicide are often struggling with dysphoria in some form.” 

Ideally, doctors will take a harm reduction approach with patients, discussing what the best solution is for your kid’s unique situation. They must first recognize that mental and physical risks are being balanced in the decisions about binding. One of the most common outcomes of discussions of binding health with doctors is the simple answer “stop binding”. End of story. Since 4 out of 5 people who bind believe that it is important to discuss chest binding with their healthcare provider, but only 15% do so because they feel unsafe discussing it, doctors must not be allowed to dismiss their patient’s mental health needs. (Jarrett, et al)

A disheartened parent reached out to me for help saying, “The Dr… just told him not to [bind] and he could have surgery when he was older.” Wisely the parent knew that prohibiting binding encourages secretive and high-risk binding and ultimately offered this piece of advice to other parents: “Keep talking to your kids even when the doctors won’t… Open communication is better than the alternative of DIY binding which is what definitely causes [the worst] damage.”

Self-Advocacy Tip #3- Stand Firm and Be Prepared

You are the expert on your kid. Changes in their emotional, social, and mental behaviors will be most apparent to you. Come to your appointment ready to find a solution that will give your kid relief from their distress.

Be ready with your answer if you feel that the doctor is being dismissive. Healthy Chest Binding for Trans and Nonbinary People: A Practical Guide has a chapter devoted to navigating healthcare appointments including a list of 9 responses to a doctor shutting down the conversation about binding. Check them out or formulate your own but, be prepared and stand your ground.

  • Have Empathy and Support Choice

A good bedside manner makes all the difference, right? Parents often talk to me about the frustration they felt that their doctors didn’t seem to care about the issue their kid was struggling with. One said to me, “Why don’t they get it? [binding] is uncomfortable, so nobody is going to wear one long term if they don’t need to.” 

Each patient comes to their provider with a different set of needs to weigh. What you need from a doctor is to support you and your child in making the right choice. You make decisions every day on balancing risks for your kids— How much screen time is healthy? Can we afford organic foods? Does this sport have too high of a risk of injury- why that power be taken away from you about binding? 

Self-Advocacy Tip #4: Know When to Leave

Change providers if you aren’t getting support. Telehealth is making access to gender-affirming providers easier through sites like QueerDoc even in states with increasingly hostile policies on trans healthcare. I offer 1:1 coaching sessions to get expert advice on binding health and can help with selecting the right binder, best practices, unique binding scenarios, and techniques to address pain.

You and your kid deserve compassionate care and knowledgeable support. 

Give Advice To Other Parents

Are you a parent of a child who chest binds? You can help other parents by taking our survey about being a caregiver to a kid who binds. When you take the survey, you’ll help me to help parents be better able to support their own kids with less anxiety.

 Join our newsletter

Healthy Binding Email List

Be the first to know when we schedule a new workshop or course, create a new healthy binding resource, or when we  add new content to our site.

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The hardest part of talking to my kid about binding was…

The hardest part of talking to my kid about binding was…

The hardest part of talking to my kid about binding was...

From parents of kids who bind: The hardest part of talking to my child about binding was…

I have discussed binding with many concerned parents and I have listened to the frustrations of many young people at odds with their parents over the decision to bind, but I am not a parent. So, I asked parents to share the hardest part of talking to their child about binding. Here’s what they said and a little advice from me if you are feeling the same way…

“Worrying about anatomical effects of binding on breathing muscles and ribs. He often had chest pain, and I felt pretty useless to do anything to help.”

Of course, you are worried. It’s your job as a parent and feeling helpless is one of the worst feelings in the world. Please do your best not to lead with your worries, try to enter the conversation with empathy for what they are going through. The concerns can come later.

I had to accept that binding was necessary first before I could help my kid get the binders they needed. I wish I had been more knowledgeable or at least aware of what it means to be trans-masculine. ”

This step is a turning point in the conversation. The resistance you feel to your kid’s gender exploration and identity will shut down open dialogue. Learn as much as you can about what they are going through and then return to the conversation.

“[Finally understanding] the tradeoff between using binding to manage dysphoria and the need to maintain a healthy chest and lungs.”

Weighing consequences is your job as the person with the older, wiser brain but your kids lived experience is important. Ultimately, the goal is to figure out a balance that allows them to thrive physically, emotionally, and socially so they can develop into a healthy adult. Like so many things in life, it’s all about balance.

“Getting him to talk to me. He had been hiding it due to negative reactions from his siblings.”

It is human nature to learn from bad experiences and apply those lessons to future interactions. Their unwillingness to talk to you may not be about you at all. The best thing you can do is show that you are open and supportive. Leave breadcrumbs by talking casually about trans people in the media. Or, make the first move and ask if they’ve ever considered binding. 

“Wishing they could love the body they have.”

This is such a hard part of supporting your kid through their gender journey. You’ve looked at that little body as perfect since the first day you saw it and you need to make space for yourself to grieve what it means for you to let go of your idea of perfect. You want them to love the body they have- YES!- and helping it align with who they are inside is exactly the way to do that.

Letting my child lead me since they had done their homework and I knew nothing about it.”

Let’s face it, your kid has probably spent more time thinking about this than you have. Turning the tables in the discussion can be a powerful tool- let them educate you before you try to introduce your concerns.

“Body positivity. Don’t assume that they are unhappy with their body just because they are trans. ”

More kids than ever are getting the message that it is ok to express themselves in whatever way feels best to them. Some parents make the mistake of assuming that their kid hates their body when, actually, they have been able to grow up in a world where they love their trans body. Take the win! You have done something right in how you’ve raised them and now is the moment to lean into their happiness. 

Help For Parents

If you are looking for more guidance on binding health specifically, consider a coaching session to address your unique concerns and gather your thoughts before you start the conversation.

Check out organizations like PFLAG and TransFamilies to join a support group with other parents navigating the same issues.

Get in-depth parenting advice from Strong Family Alliance in their 3-part series What Should I Do When My Child Doesn’t Want to Talk?  

Give Advice To Other Parents

Are you a parent of a child who chest binds? You can help other parents by taking our survey about being a caregiver to a kid who binds. When you take the survey, you’ll help me to help parents be better able to support their own kids with less anxiety.

 Join our newsletter

Healthy Binding Email List

Be the first to know when we schedule a new workshop or course, create a new healthy binding resource, or when we  add new content to our site.

We'll never share your information, that's a promise.

11 Tips By Parents for Parents

11 Tips By Parents for Parents

11 Tips By Parents for Parents

Advice from parents of kids who chest bind:

1. Listen. Listen. Listen. Be a resource but allow space for them to learn and figure things out.

2. Don’t put your kids in a position to hide it from you.

3. Acquire what they need to be healthy just like you would a bike helmet or allergy-free foods.

4. Make sure your kid doesn’t get the wrong size, like I did.

5. Offer to do some research together.

6. Say you want them to feel as comfortable as possible in the body they have and it’s important not to harm it.

Tips by parents for parents

7. Open communication is better than the alternative of DIY binding which is what definitely causes damage.

8. You may be apprehensive about potential physical risks – I was – but not allowing binding greatly damaged my kid’s mental health.

9. Be respectful of your child’s feelings and needs, and work together to solve the problem of how to best manage binding with the least risk.

10. Get the binder as soon as you can! Don’t wait and think “this will pass.” Get your child the relief.

11. Ask them! I was the one who brought up the subject and he was so relieved to have me ask!

Give Advice To Other Parents

Are you a parent of a child who chest binds? You can help other parents by taking our survey about being a caregiver to a kid who binds. When you take the survey, you’ll help me to help parents be better able to support their own kids with less anxiety.    

 Join our newsletter

Healthy Binding Email List

Be the first to know when we schedule a new workshop or course, create a new healthy binding resource, or when we  add new content to our site.

We'll never share your information, that's a promise.

Ask The Binding Coach

Answers to your questions about healthy chest binding and trans health from Frances Reed, author of Healthy Chest Binding for Trans & Non-Binary People.

Are binders with clasps or hook-and-eye closures really unsafe?

Ask The Binding Coach: Are binders with clasps or hook-and-eye closures really unsafe?

Q: What is the reason that binders with clasps/hook-and-eyes are considered unsafe?

A: Binders with clasps are not inherently unsafe and have some healthy advantages, especially for people who need to be able to take binder breaks throughout the day or have difficulty pulling a binder over their head.

There are a couple of things to keep in mind about binders with clasps.
Often binders with clasp/hook-and-eye closure, especially down the center of the chest, are post-surgical binders. These should never be worn for daily binding because they are designed to prevent swelling with extreme compression. It is dangerous to wear post-surgical binders with activity levels that exceed post-surgery recovery periods.
Binders with clasp/hook-and-eye closures should not allow for much variability in the tightness of your binder. The safest option is a binder with only 1 row of hook-and-eye clasps because you will always be wearing a consistent, correctly-sized binder.

Find the perfect binder

Looking for binders with clasps, velcro, or zippers? Our Binder Finder tool can show you which companies offer easy entry methods.

Headshot of Frances Reed, a white, non-binary person with a bright purple and blue mohawk. They are wearing glasses and a patterned blue and white shirt and smiling into the camera.

Frances Reed, The Binding Coach

About The Binding Coach

I’m Frances Reed (they/them). I’m the author of Healthy Chest Binding for Trans & Non-Binary People: A Practical Guide, and the creator of HealthyBinding.com.

I’ve been a licensed massage therapist since 2011, and I support people at all stages of gender transition. I’m here to answer your questions about binding, no matter how big, small, silly, or serious.

Frequent topics include healthy chest binding, finding or wearing a chest binder, self-massage for people who bind, self-care for trans folks, or other topics on trans health.

More Healthy Binding Resources

Buy The Book

Buy The Book

The book Healthy Chest Binding for Trans and Non-Binary People: A Practical Guide contains best practices for binding and 23 exercises that you can do on your own to reduce and prevent pain.

Binder Finder Tool

Find The Perfect Binder

Our Binder Finder search tool helps trans and non-binary people discover the ideal chest binder to fit their unique body and budget. Explore diverse styles, prioritize safety, and express your authentic self with this essential search tool.

 Join our newsletter

Healthy Binding Email List

Be the first to know when we schedule a new workshop or course, create a new healthy binding resource, or when we  add new content to our site.

We'll never share your information, that's a promise.

Ask The Binding Coach

Answers to your questions about healthy chest binding and trans health from Frances Reed, author of Healthy Chest Binding for Trans & Non-Binary People.

Is wearing a sports bra safer than wearing a binder?

Ask The Binding Coach: Is wearing a sports bra safer than wearing a binder?

Q: My child is 15 years old and well into puberty. They are asking for a binder and I am concerned. They currently wear sports bras to flatten their chest but they are leaving a permanent mark on the side of their rib cage. Is it safer for them to keep wearing a tight sports bra or to change to wearing a binder?

A: Wearing tight sports bras or doubling up sports bras can actually be just as dangerous to the body as an overly restrictive binder, if not more. The marks that you are seeing are likely from the tight band at the bottom of the sports bra. When this band is very tight, it commonly causes three complications.

  1. The tight elastic exerts heavy pressure on just 2-3 ribs and can cause rib pain, bruising, displacement, or dislocation. Binders do not have these elastic bands and are made to distribute compression over the entire ribcage. When the correct size is worn, binders are usually safer for the ribcage.
  2. The elastic can cause skin irritation that can become raw and painful and leave hyper-pigmented marks which can take years to fade. Since there is usually no elastic band on a binder, this type of skin irritation is uncommon. The arm holes of binders can rub in the armpits which indicates that the design of that binder is not a good fit for their body type. Binders can also cause skin irritation from trapping sweat against the body. Skin irritation with any binding method should be addressed and allowed to heal before resuming any binding method, including sports bras.
  3. The straps on a sports bra are usually made of the same fabric as the rest of the bra which means that they exert more pressure into the neck and shoulders than most binders which make the straps out of a much lighter spandex. If someone experiences headaches or neck or jaw pain when wearing tight sports bras, then switching to a binder will likely alleviate these symptoms.

Looking for the perfect binder?

Want to ditch the sports bra but not sure which binder is right for you? Our Binder Finder tool catalogs 52 characteristics of binders so you find the perfect size, shape, and material.

Headshot of Frances Reed, a white, non-binary person with a bright purple and blue mohawk. They are wearing glasses and a patterned blue and white shirt and smiling into the camera.

Frances Reed, The Binding Coach

About The Binding Coach

I’m Frances Reed (they/them). I’m the author of Healthy Chest Binding for Trans & Non-Binary People: A Practical Guide, and the creator of HealthyBinding.com.

I’ve been a licensed massage therapist since 2011, and I support people at all stages of gender transition. I’m here to answer your questions about binding, no matter how big, small, silly, or serious.

Frequent topics include healthy chest binding, finding or wearing a chest binder, self-massage for people who bind, self-care for trans folks, or other topics on trans health.

More Healthy Binding Resources

Buy The Book

Buy The Book

The book Healthy Chest Binding for Trans and Non-Binary People: A Practical Guide contains best practices for binding and 23 exercises that you can do on your own to reduce and prevent pain.

Binder Finder Tool

Find The Perfect Binder

Our Binder Finder search tool helps trans and non-binary people discover the ideal chest binder to fit their unique body and budget. Explore diverse styles, prioritize safety, and express your authentic self with this essential search tool.

 Join our newsletter

Healthy Binding Email List

Be the first to know when we schedule a new workshop or course, create a new healthy binding resource, or when we  add new content to our site.

We'll never share your information, that's a promise.